The content featured on this website is intended for mature audiences aged 18 and above. It explores themes of sexuality, transgender issues, practices of the NHS, nudity, graphic surgical imagery, and the detrimental practice of conversion therapy.
Photographer's Statement
Contained within this collection of letters is evidence exposing the current shortcomings in UK healthcare and the treatment of transgender individuals within the NHS. These letters were written in response to University College London Hospitals' denial of my referral for a hysterectomy, an operation typically performed by public and local NHS hospitals regardless of a patient's gender. Unfortunately, there is a consistent refusal to provide treatment to transgender people, stemming from the misguided belief that we should not utilize NHS services used by cis people, eg. Trans men using Women's health clinics. This is problematic on so many levels considering the barriers presented for trans men and AFAB non-binary people getting tested for cervical cancer and the risk of this disease going unreported.
Furthermore, the breach of privacy, violating the protection offered by the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), adds to the list of grievances I personally have with University College London Hospitals and Tavistock Clinic. Such breaches erode trust and jeopardise the well-being of transgender individuals seeking medical support. Furthermore, the fabrication of NHS guidelines for transgender care by 3rd parties listed in the letters shows the dangers of doctor biases currently existing within GICs.
Additionally, it is deeply troubling to discover that transgender men can be directed towards surgical services that inadequately address their specific needs, and put them in danger of botched surgical intervention. It is crucial to respect and acknowledge each individual's gender identity and sex, providing tailored care that recognises the distinct healthcare requirements of transgender men VS transgender women. By trivialising and conflating the needs of these two separate groups, we disregard their unique experiences and perpetuate a system that fails to deliver appropriate and comprehensive care, that finds itself overloaded when local NHS hospitals have all the training required to offer transgender men safe hysterectomies.
​
​
-Mars Milo (2023)
To my love, my Frida in masculinity's embrace,
Pup,
I extend my gratitude for your unwavering grace,
Throughout my quest for joy,
Your support, a beacon, guiding me to inner peace.
"I’m not taking testosterone to change myself into a man
or as a physical strategy of transsexualism; I take it to foil
what society wanted to make of me, so that I can write,
fuck, feel a form of pleasure that is postpornographic, add
a molecular prostheses to my low-tech transgender identity
composed of dildos, texts, and moving images; I do it to
avenge your death."- (Paul Preciado, Testo Junkie, 2008)
I cast my bits in chipped plaster and stone; here they exist as something no longer part of me, but a distant memory of the dysphoria that use to hide under the undercovers with me.
Inhaling the gas from the mask with profound intensity, I fixate upon the painted chipped and old ceiling adorning an expanse of colour. A tree, or was it a hot air balloon, adorned with bluebirds and ornate ribbons, cascade forth into the empty. With each inhalation, tranquillity embraced me in a hurried rush, while the weight of my eyelids grew heavy. The haze crept upon me as the frigid cold climbed my arm, shutting my mind to the boundaries of existence.
I was under within seconds.
Will I love again,
As tides break the waves,
crash at my trembling shore?
​
Will wounds mend and form their crust,
Like fallen marble from Michelangelo's trust?
Or like Venus de Milo, obscured from view,
In Louvre's depths, adorned with dust's hue.
​
Doctor please, let this be quick.
​
Stitched, like a weathered book, my parts unfold,
Each stitch, as time takes its toll,
Will be faded by the years.
​
I'll stand before you, a man with a history,
that shouldn't mark me unless I choose it to.
​
And Yes. You will love again.
What is a man stripped of his queer companion, a loyal dog by his side? My gaze, soot on the frame, fixates on him, enlarging, consuming, A snapshot trapped in time, Ebbing and flowing as drugs wane and surge, waves crashing in my mind. I love my partner, and I love my friends so much.
I never did liked the Creme Egg ones..
​
​
In the depths of opiate haze, 'neath the shrouds of sterile sheets, I'd treasure chocolates from the eyes of nursing staff. Slipping them from the covers to my mouth, I savoured the sweet tones as I sought solace from the throbbing that gripped me in my groin.
Pain and sweetness. A pairing that had accompanied my childhood. Mother always was at hand with the hard toffee sweets, as the needle pricked the screaming child.
​
But now i'd tap the button of the fentanyl tap, washing the pain till there was only sweetness left.
​
In my frailty, I'd forge constellations from foil remnants, traversing the astral plane of imagination. I'd defy the sterile confines and transcend the hospital's walls to commune with distant stars.
​
Betwixt my trembling limbs, the catheter weaved,
Burdened by silicone companions, I strode,
A cowboy's gait, a crab-like shuffle down the corridor.
The weight of my newfound manhood bore upon me,
Heavier than my anticipations dared conceive.
Ah, the bulk I must grow accustomed to, it seems.
Pam, my nurse, bestowed upon me a tender embrace,
As I ventured past her in the sterile expanse.
Dr. Miro, with a smirk upon his lips, remarked,
The surgery, a triumph of his skilled hands,
And my endowment, a marvel to behold.
Laughter escaped my lips, for what irony resides,
In the juxtaposition of a well-hung trans man.
Blood blister, adhered to my being,
A searing needle probes past the plaster,
Where a stent weaves through my member,
Like kebab skewered upon a rod.
​
It was a work in process.
More work will progress on this site, becoming a resource to the community at large...
Meta (2023)
'Meta' is an ambitious photojournalism project that chronicles the experiences of Mars Milo, the third trans patient to undergo bottom surgery at the NHS's new clinic under Chelsea and Westminster Hospital. Through a combination of multimedia documentation, the project explores the transformative nature of metoidioplasty, shedding light on the physical and emotional impact it has on patients who have had to wait through criminal delays for life-saving medical intervention. As a feat of gonzo journalism, 'Meta' takes the viewer on a raw, unfiltered journey that delves into the complex issues surrounding transgender healthcare, while also offering a deeply personal and humanising glimpse into the lives of those affected by it.